Ignatius’s razor-sharp parable of the 10,000 ducats: diagnosing the First Pair (procrastinators), the Second Pair (negotiators who try to pull God over to their attachment), and the Third Pair (open-handed freedom).
Read the story of the Rich Young Ruler (Luke 18:18–27). Stand a step or two from your place of prayer for an Our Father (Exx. 75), reverence the Lord, and pray the Preparatory Prayer (Exx. 46).
Three pairs of men, each of whom has acquired ten thousand ducats not purely or duly for the love of God. All of them want to save their souls and find God our Lord in peace, ridding themselves of the weight and hindrance which they have in the attachment to the thing acquired.
Behold yourself standing before God our Lord and all His saints, with nothing hidden—seeking to know in what way He will be better served and pleased.
Ask for grace to choose what shows more the glory of His Divine Majesty and the salvation of my soul.
Ignatius gives the Three Pairs of Men on the exact same day as the Two Standards (Exx. 149) to help us see how we actually behave when the Lord touches a cherished attachment (our ‘10,000 ducats’—whether money, a personal ambition, a bodily pursuit, a comfort, or a need for control):
“The first would like to get rid of the affection which they have to the thing acquired, in order to find God our Lord in peace and be able to save themselves, and up to death they do not take the means.”
We all know the First Pair: ‘Someday I’ll simplify my life; someday I’ll let go of that habit; someday when I’m older or retired I’ll give this to God.’ They feel sincere pious wishes in prayer, but the alarm goes off the next morning and nothing concrete ever changes.
“The second want to get rid of the affection, but they want to get rid of it in such a way that they retain the thing acquired, so that God is to come to what they want, and they do not decide to leave it in order to go to God, although this would be the best state for them.”
This is Ignatius’s most psychologically piercing insight. The Second Pair are active and earnest! They pray, fast, give generously in other areas, and construct elaborate spiritual deals with God: ‘Lord, I’ll do extra prayer watches, I’ll serve in five ministries, I’ll give away my money—just let me keep this one striving, this one idol, this one project on my own terms!’ They are trying to bend the plumb line of God’s will to match their attachment, rather than bending their will to God.
“The third want to get rid of the affection, but passingly want to get rid of it in such a way that they also have no inclination to keep the thing acquired or not to keep it; wanting only to want It or not want It according as God our Lord will put it in their will, and as it will appear to their persons better for the service and praise of His Divine Majesty; and meanwhile they want to count that they leave all in affect, putting force on themselves not to want that or any other thing unless the service of God our Lord alone move them.”
Notice what the Third Pair does right now in the prayer room: even before knowing whether God will ultimately ask them to keep the thing (as a steward) or drop it altogether, they let go of it in their heart today. Their hands are wide open.
What if you look in the mirror and realize: ‘Honestly, Lord, I am squarely in the Second Pair—I am still negotiating with You to keep my striving!’? Ignatius does not scold you. Instead, in Exx. 157, he gives a brilliant practical remedy:
When we feel an attachment or repugnance against poverty/letting go, when we are not indifferent, it helps very much to ask God in our Colloquies—even against the grain of our flesh—that He would choose us toward the very thing we are resisting, so that by leaning against our bias, we help the scale come back to true balance. If you aren't ready to let go yet, simply tell Him: ‘Lord, I am bargaining with You in the Second Pair. Give me the desire to move into the Third.’
Make the Triple Colloquy (Exx. 156—to Our Lady, to the Son, and to the Father) naming by name your own ‘10,000 ducats’—the exact thing you are currently negotiating with the Lord to keep—and asking to be received into the freedom of the Third Pair. Close with an Our Father.
After finishing the Our Father, remain quiet for ten to fifteen minutes (sitting or walking slowly) to examine how your prayer went. Ask: Where did my heart feel warmed, expanded, drawn to trust, or moved to tears (consolation)? Where did I feel dry, distracted, defensive, or negotiating with God (desolation or resistance)? Write down two or three honest sentences in your notebook.
Take comfort in how honest Ignatian prayer is: recognizing yourself in the Second Pair is itself a great grace of light! Most people bargain with God unconsciously for decades; the moment you catch yourself negotiating and smile honestly about it with the Lord, the grip of the attachment is already loosening.